Doubt can be the most damaging feeling to a relationship when it comes to dating someone in the army. Even a brief moment can leave you vunerable to other people's negativity and your own worse thoughts. However, doubt is a normal feeling to have at some point, but you shouldn't let it drive you if you plan to pursue a relationship with someone in the military.
I mentioned in my last army girlfriend post, that I had tons of crazy thoughts about my relationship in the last five months Akeem has been away. Doubt was definitely one of them. However, this post was fueled by a misread text message, pain medication, and a sergeant who is made a short visit to my shit list.
Dating someone in the army requires a strong state of mind on both parts. People are going to put crazy thoughts in your head as well as his. When you are dating, many are going to feel that you two do not owe each other the type of loyalty that is needed for a long distance relationship because you are not married.
However, if you allow doubt to linger long enough in your thoughts...........other people's negativity will linger along with it. After Akeem had misunderstood a text message I sent, he went to his sergeant for advice. Why he did that I still don't know, I'm going to blame his pain medication on that one. His sergeant told him some crap advice that I'm sure was personally influenced. For a few hours, what Akeem thought was my doubts about our relationship became his doubts.
In relationships like this, your doubts soon become his doubts. Because if you are not sure about your relationship from the outside (not in training/restricted to a base or post), then what gives him any security as someone who isolated on the inside.
I have no doubts that I made the right decision about my relationship, though I do often resent this whole being apart time. But for the moment that there was doubt between Akeem and I, was a moment that felt like our relationship was not going to make it. That was a horrible feeling.
As a girlfriend, you can only hope that your solider will comeback to you and you can continue a life together. As a boyfriend, all he can do is hope that you will wait for him. Let hope dictate your relationship, not doubt........because during your time apart, that is all you have.
*Akeem graduates tomorrow! Tweet him congratulations @yallzconscience*