The Story of an Army Girlfriend: Fraternization

Women are dangerous people.  Because some will smile in your face while they think about screwing you over behind your back.  Some won't even smile in your face nor will they wait until your back is turned to make their move.  In the year, that Akeem has been in the military, I am ocassionally reminded why I reach out to so few women for friendship.

"50 dicks for every [one] pussy" -Akeem

When I decided to write this post, I was just told some girl decided to send my man pictures of herself in a thong.  Now, I will keep in mind that she may not have known he had a girlfriend (not likely).  Inappropriate stunts like that made me want to rant on and on about how some women take advantage of the fact that men outnumber them in the armed forces. 

I had to take a step back and check my attitude because to generalize a whole group of women due to the actions of a few stupid women is wrong.  It is especially wrong when there are men you fuel the sexual tensions.

Time for a quick vocabulary lesson, according to
frat·er·nize   /ˈfrætərˌnaɪz/ Show Spelled [frat-er-nahyz] Show IPA verb, -nized, -niz·ing.

verb (used without object)
1. to associate in a fraternal or friendly way.
2. to associate cordially or intimately with natives of a conquered country, enemy troops, etc.
verb (used with object)
3. Archaic . to bring into fraternal association or sympathy.
Most of us have heard the phrase "fraternizing with the enemy," but as a girlfriend of a soldier, I never thought fraternizing with someone of the opposite sex could be looked at just as badly.

According to, fraternization is actually a "violation of the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ)."  The Uniform Code of Military Justice is the Congressional Code of Military Criminal Law "applicable to all military members worldwide."  Sounds serious, doesn't it?  Well, it is.

In a male dominated career, fraternization is very serious.  Unfortunately, not all bother to follow the rules.  A NCO (non-commissioned officer) can be demoted because he is sleeping with an enlisted soldier.  Another soldier can be stripped of his rank because he decided to date someone from his company.  To me, it seems like the risk isn't worth it 99% of the time (sometimes love is worth it=1%).

I hear crazy stories of women soldiers who "barrack hop" from one soldier's bed to the next and male soldiers who pursue women in their company/squad/platoon at the expense of their careers. 

It sounds sick, but when Akeem first went to AIT, it gave me peace of mind that he would have to rethink his friendly nature because of the trouble he could get into for a misconceived friendship.  Now, months after the fact and several crazy stories later, I keep my sanity due to the strength of my relationship.  Because obviously with the odds of "50 dicks for every [one] pussy," some men go crazy for a little bit of action and some women like those numbers a little too much.

If you would like more information on fraternization, check out: