It is almost one in the morning and two hours ago, I was telling Akeem goodnight through a text message. A year ago, I would of thought by now I would be saying goodnight to him in our bed. Unfortunately, I have been forced to live most of my relationship with my soldier from afar.
A year ago, today, I was preparing myself for Akeem to leave for basic training. I remember being sad and upset because he had moved his departure date up by a month: he left October 25th, but was originally scheduled to leave at the end of November. Somehow, my usual "common sense" about guys was on a decline and I told Akeem that we would make it work when he left at the end of October. To my defense, I didn't think a year later, we would not be living together. Silly me.
Now, don't get me wrong, I don't regret my relationship. However, when I decided to be with Akeem during his military career, I thought it would only be a few months of separation and we would either get married quickly, he would get stationed close to me, or I would be able to move near him and we would live together. None of that worked out as I had envisioned.
Even with the marriage aspect, we have been talking and (half-ass) planning it for months. A date gets set, then that date comes and goes and we are spending another night texting each other from separate beds. It is mostly a combination of the military not offering up free time and us just having bad luck.
They say that distance makes the heart grow fonder. For the most part I would have to agree with that statement. With the exception of a rough patch we hit during the time of Akeem's AIT until he was at his duty station, distance has made me appreciate my relationship more, especially in the last few months.
The biggest thing that hurt us in our relationship (right before our break up) is the amount of time we spent apart versus the time we've spent together. Akeem left at the time in our relationship when we were really starting to learn about each other and how to deal with each others' bad habits and odd behaviors. With the limited amount of time the military left for Akeem to talk to me, it wasn't enough to resolve things quickly and it didn't benefit our eventual break up at the beginning of the summer.
Being an army girlfriend is tough enough as it is, but being one six hours away from your soldier can only increase the odds against you and your relationship working. I am glad and proud to say that Akeem and I have beat the odds. While it sucks that I don't have him to wake up to and go to bed with at night, I'll take his short text messages before 6a.m. P.T. or the phone calls in the middle of my shift at work. Because at the end of the day, he makes me feel loved even from far away, which is more than I can say for some couples who see their partners on a regular basis.
It is going on 3 months since I last saw Akeem in July, but hopefully October will be more kind to us than Septemeber:-)