Today, Akeem and I have been married for two weeks. While two weeks is not a significant amount of time in a marriage, it marks enough time to pass for me to realize that this is something more than my past relationship status of girlfriend.
In the year and a half that we've been together, Akeem and I have been through hell and back. From damage inflicted by us to inconsiderate third parties, I feel it is safe to say our relationship has had it's fair share of testing. But through it all, we have made it to this day and I have to reflect.
Last night, we had our first screaming match. While the details are too exhausting to mention, it was one of those reality check moments for me. Here I was screaming my lungs out like never before and swearing in my parents' home, like a whore in a cathouse. While I was upset, one thought ran through my head: we're married. It wasn't a sentimental thought or even one that I thought of in regret. The realization that we were married made me stop screaming out of anger but only to match his heightened hostilities. Because the situation wasn't worth being angered over at that point, but I couldn't help being caught up in the passionate moment.
After the fight, my mom laughed while I tried to talk to her with a sore throat. She told me that in a marriage you should defend yourself but not scream it out (she came from a family of screamers). When I told her he was screaming too, she laughed again and told me that that was different then. However, it was her simple comment of telling me that I'm married now and that "that" is between me and Akeem, which truly made me realize that I would have to work in my marriage: no more mommy and daddy to the rescue.
One thing that I love about my husband, is that while he may get angry about things he can eventually humble himself and genuinely apologize and/or admit when he is wrong.
While screaming matches aren't something I recommend for any marriage, sometimes you do have to duke it out with your spouse or you will never get to the core of your problems. I, too, have shortcomings as a wife and through trials and tribulations, I am working to become a better spouse for the sake of my marriage. After 14 days (and we still don't live together......yet), I feel more married to this man than ever. My marriage is not perfect and I haven't had enough time to know the key to a happy one. However, after years of being a marriage pessimist, I feel fortunate that someone is there holding my hand through the highs and lows of it all, even when I'm screaming my head off at him:-)