Thursday, April 23, 2015

The Story of An Army Wife: Fighting Words "I Work, What Do You Do?"

I do not wish to be a stay at home mom and with the joys of moving to Hawaii, I realized that it really doesn't matter what I wish for these days.

In the past, I have mentioned my views on stay at home moms and how those views have changed once I became one.  Being a stay at home mom is hard.  For those freaks of nature who strive at it and truly enjoy it.....I applaud you.
I on the other hand have a bipolar relationship with being a stay at home mom.  There are moments where I love experiencing childhood all over again with my little rugrat and there are days where I think running my head through a brick wall would be less painful than being home all day with my two year old and no adult interaction until 5 or 6pm.

Let's be serious, two year olds don't make the greatest morning coffee talk companions.  Then you try to add cleaning or working with them in the house.....BAM! Suddenly you are running into a room you just cleaned and find your toddler crying on the floor, pen markings all over the wall and a overall destroyed room that was clean only 10 minutes ago.

Even on my most productive days, somehow my house would still manages to look like nothing was  accomplished to a complete stranger or even to my husband.  But maybe that is just me.  Maybe I truly suck at being a stay at home mom.  Even with that said, there are certain questions that you don't ask a stay at home mom.

"What do you do all day?"

"How can you stand being home all day and not go to work?"

"Are you looking for a job in the mean time?"

And the one that could cause blood to be shed...."I work. What do you do?"


Now, don't get me wrong.  I try (and sometimes learning to try harder) to respect the fact that the financial burden can fall on the husband when the wife stays at home with the child.  But when I hear soldiers (or any man for that matter) says those words, I almost have an out of body experience.

I find it very disrespectful. Without giving you the "being a mom is a full time job" line.....oh wait, I just did.  Well, look at it this way: how many men are running to pursue jobs as daycare providers? Now add on top of that job: cook, laundry service, maid service, personal shopper, and for some personal assistant.  Sound like a job worth having? If you answered yes, then please put down the alcohol and try again.

It is not the problem of being a stay at home mom and it be acknowledged, it is the lack of acknowledgement of how much it takes to be a stay at home mom.  For me personally, I am stuck in a house ALL day with a 2 year old and because the army only ships one car.......no vehicle to leave the house and little to no friends to socialize with to maintain some form of adult interaction outside of my husband.

There are plenty of stay at home moms that bring shame on motherhood and I don't even think that being a stay at home mom deserves some ridiculous reward.  However, to question what your wife does all day when somehow she has managed to keep her destructive child alive, dinner prepared, your laundry clean, and still able to greet you with words that resemble something other than "ba-ba" or other child gibberish..........don't ask her what she did all day.


With that said, let me know your thoughts? Do stay at home moms have a right to be offended when ask what they do all day? 





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